Between Hate and Allowance

Between Hate and Allowance stands myself victimized by the situation, flicking the flame of anger inside others like the friction of two stick sparking flame when rubbed together. I look at their eyes and i saw disappointment, all the eyes that's used to be full of hope, now searching for something to channel all their rage and blame into one entity , truly saddening yet understandable that I can almost suffocate just by thinking about it.

What shall be done and what have been done, the more i think the more it all points to me.
"Oh God, what have i done and what have been done to me?" I asked.
I pray and try to listen but silence is all i can hear. Was it me or just my ego? I don't know anything at the moment as my mind keeps on spinning back and forth, wandering in the vast oceans of memories inside my thick block-headed brain.

Looking back at the incident,I asked them whether I shall fill in a new form or just do the initial and with ease they answered just do the initial. For listening to their instruction, I payed the price. I was asked to redo my form 3 days before semester break approximately 3 weeks after i submitted it with all the other student. Now, all of my batch will and definitely have been blaming me for not getting their allowance earlier for I am like a stone blocking the passage between their allowance and themselves which is now filled with hatred towards me.